Thursday, April 24, 2014

An out of body experience...

... I seriously had one of those today.  You know, those moments when things get so crazy that you temporarily step outside of yourself to take things in as an innocent observer?  There have been many moments in my life where I would have preferred to have been a fly on a wall, and today was not an exception.

This week has been slightly intense, but we can handle it with grace, as we always try to do.  Big R has been working his tail off in a rape trial.  I often find myself feeling insuperior to his legal world knowing how exhausting his extremely long days are, and yet how important it is for him to be on top of his every word.  Enter me and my madness that only the talents of little kids can bring you. Haha.  I have found that this week I am feeling conflicted emotionally about our impending move from Germany.  Tears are flowing as I take a much needed jog through the Bavarian countryside and work in my "office" on our porch in the beautiful weather, meanwhile my blood is boiling when a seemingly simple task such as printing a document to sign and scan back to an office is nearly impossible here.  We live in a rural and incredibly beautiful town, but the neighborhood, and let's face it, the entire region, isn't exactly office friendly.  When our printer decided to go on the fritz this week, the timing was terrible.  Yes, we have an amazing Army post here, but the hours are not exactly friendly to mom's with most places opening after 11 a.m. (including the library - seriously, who has reading hour for kids at noon?!).

Ok, so these issues are minor, and not really the source of my out of body experience.  That particular moment happened when I took little r into the clinic for a check up.  The cyst behind his knee has been causing him some discomfort.  I'm a mom, so the natural thing to do is want him to NOT experience pain.  Coincidentally, we also needed to find out why during his four-year wellness exam when he received (what seemed like) a million shots, they somehow missed one that the Child Development Center, or CDC, needed to allow my boys into childcare on Saturday during our "JAG Prom" (it's a Regimental Ball, but it's so much more fun to refer to it as a prom, isn't it?).

Although he has been complaining about his cyst hurting on a nearly daily basis for over a month, miraculously he was cured today when I told him that's why we were seeing a doctor.  I don't suppose it's much of a surprise to tell you that when he found out during the visit that he might also need to get another shot he completely freaked out.  Anyone that knows my little monster can understand what this means.  It's purely a sight to behold, and today was classic.  By the time the doctor made it to the exam room to talk with us, baby c was also coming unglued.  He's cutting teeth, he was hungry (as always), and I forgot the baby carrier.  My normally very calm and subdued little man was out of control, and screaming his head off.  Meanwhile, little r was literally acting like a wild animal on the exam table ripping the paper cover to shreds.  It sounded like a war was going on in our room as I was trying to have a conversation with our doctor.  She was very understanding, but the raucous sounds coming from our room alarmed the Sargent down the hall so much that he open the door without knocking to make sure everything was ok.  At that point I think I became about two inches tall.  I got little r off of the table and asked him to get dressed wherein he proceeded to climb through the blinds on the window and make sounds like an animal.  It felt like I was in some sort of twilight zone.  This doctor knows us pretty well (thankfully), and I think even she was shocked at the madness occurring in the exam room.  At this point I flew out of my body and hovered where I laughed uncontrollably at the situation.  What else can you possibly do?

The afternoon got better as we headed to the post office to mail gifts I'm convinced will never get mailed because I can't figure out how to mail them (likely symptomatic of a post office that opens at 11:30 a.m. meaning it can only be visited with crazy animals in tow).  The gifts again did not get mailed, and instead we collected 5 packages and a mailbox full of letters.  The balancing act to the car was a sight to be seen.  I stood proud, when what I probably should have done was ask for help.

My next task was to dive into the U.S.O., a place that is promising to help even the most weary housewife, and yet I have only been inside once because it doesn't open until after 11 a.m.  The fabulous volunteer printed documents and even scanned them for me, handling several needed tasks in one fail swoop.  I then got on the phone in an attempt to explain to the CDC rep (also helpful and fabulous) why little r didn't need a vaccination her regulations are claiming he must have.  It was multi-tasking at its finest, and two screaming kids, 5 phone calls, 4 emails, and an additional scan at home, and I checked off a few more items from my list.

This is just going to be one of those weeks that we will look back on (or hopefully forget altogether) and sigh at the hilarity of it all.  Big R's week has been successful, my checklist is being tackled, baby c has two new teeth, and little r can carry on for a good six months more (hopefully) without worrying about his cyst.  We have nearly survived another week. We did just return from a vacation, right?  I think we are ready for another one! haha.


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