First run post pregnancy

It feels like it has been a long time coming, but I finally donned my running shoes and hit the trails. I seriously had to shake cobwebs out of my bones. It was hard to succumb to my pregnancy and give up running, and it feels incredible to be back out there again.

My body took longer to recover than I expected, and I'm still not feeling completely back to normal yet. But the doc gave the thumbs up, and the opportunity was there, so I had to give it a try.

I ran one of my favorite trails. Forget the gym. The gym and I don't necessarily get along. I needed to feel dirt under my feet and take in the elements to ensure my first post pregnancy run would be a success.

My goal was not to keel over and hopefully not to stop. Luckily my feet remembered this trail I have run dozens of times. One foot in front of the other and I found myself back into my old rhythm. Man, did it feel good. And I made it. I ran the entire way without stopping or collapsing.

This is seriously going to hurt tomorrow and my abs feel like they are going to shake out of my body, but man did that feel invigorating. My mind didn't really forget how much I love running, but I think my body needed the reminder. Despite being seriously sleep deprived, I have a crazy burst of energy.

Of course I haven't got a clue how well I'll keep this up. This could be the last run I do for awhile or it could light a fire in me. We all have things we need to keep us going. The past six or so months have been challenging and not having my regular runs - my moving meditation - forced me to face far more emotions head on and look for other ways of release. I'm afraid to admit that more often than not I didn't release and instead let it all build up. Never healthy, right?

We have a seriously rich life with two amazing kids, loads of travel (with those two amazing kids), and a lot of change preparing to happen in the not-too-distant future. I'm glad to be back on my feet where I can blow out all the stress and pent up emotions and really be there for my family. I am so ready to have myself back again. Who knows, maybe you'll actually hear from me more often again. Lord knows we have an insane amount to tell you about these days.

Happy Sunday and I hope you get a chance to find yourself today!

xoxo

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Welcome to our world, Baby C!

It's true - our sweet little guy is finally here, and we couldn't be happier.  He certainly decided to make a grand entrance, but then our lives seem to be one continuous adventure, so should we have expected anything less?  Baby C was born on May 14, 2013, at 12:32 a.m.  Apparently being born on the 13th felt a little too unlucky, so he waited just long enough to change that fate.

Baby C, 7 lb. 7 oz., 20.8 inches

We thought he was going to say "hello" a week earlier.  At 39 weeks and some change, the annoying practice contractions started getting regular and much stronger.  I could no longer sleep through them, and we decided when they were two minutes apart, that it was time to go in just to be sure.  This being my second pregnancy, we didn't want to take any chances ignoring them.  Of course, this happened at 3 a.m. because it would be no other way, so I had to wake up my friend, Nina, to come over to keep a watchful eye on little r.  Alas, it was only early labor and after about six hours of strong and consistent contractions, they stopped and I wasn't even slightly dilated.  (I think Baby C was just waiting for his grandma to get here.  In hindsight, I truly appreciate the sentiment.)

This was painfully frustrating especially since these contractions continued until his arrival a week later.  I would go through periods of consistent and intense contractions, and then they would slow or stop.  By the time I got to my final OB appointment on my due date, my body was quite frankly exhausted.  Even though there is a high risk for induction after you've had a c-section, my OB and I discussed things at great length and decided that scheduling an induction for the following Monday was the best approach.  With an end in sight, I knew now that I just needed to make it through the weekend.  I also needed to accept the idea that this birth might be a c-section as well. There was no guarantee that he would arrive on Monday, in fact, he could have decided to come before then, but it gave us the chance to get all our plans into place for little r and for Lando.

"A picture of pregnant" - 40 plus weeks and counting!

Little did we know when we arrived for my appointment at the Klinikum, or hospital, that Monday morning that because of the high risk involved, the doctor was planning to take a gentle approach to inducing my labor.  Day 1 included drinking a fantastically delicious cocktail, Day 2 would be another gentle homeopathic method, and Day 3 would be a c-section.  Just the thought of all this wore me out, and I prayed I wouldn't be rolled into an OR on Wednesday for surgery.  That morning my contractions were especially fun.  I had several moments of being monitored and it was interesting to see record of the contractions I'd been feeling.  Pretty much every 4-5 minutes at that point, so I hoped a juicy cocktail would be the extra bump I needed to go into active labor.

My fabulous labor-inducing cocktail (yum!)

That cocktail was nothing shy of disgusting, but I inhaled it with high hopes.  I felt like I had been pregnant forever.  Even though I knew the little guy couldn't stay in there, I seriously thought this pregnancy would never end.  I slurped it up and then was hooked up to monitors for an hour.  It didn't even take 30 minutes and the contractions started getting much more intense and severe.  Hallelujah!

They had assigned me a room and checked me into the hospital, IV port and all.  They told me to walk around the hospital and to come back at 6 p.m. for a check-up. That was about five hours.  I barely made it because the contractions were getting so intense and strong and by 5:30 p.m. they were less than two minutes apart.

Bracing myself against the window during a strong contraction

Having a baby in Germany at a German hospital was an interesting experience.  Actually, it was pretty fantastic, at least at the Klinikum here in Bamberg.  The midwives were incredible through the entire birth, and I loved how they employed a combination of homeopathic and standard medicine techniques throughout.  The language barrier was often interesting though.  Most of the nurses, and definitely the doctors, spoke "good" English (some better than others, but still impressive).  Where I made my mistake was admitting that I know a little German, and despite my laboring condition and constant pain, I was stubborn and decided to decipher through the German.  My brain was rather dysfunctional, so this was probably a poor decision.

They again placed me in a laboring room and hooked me up to monitors.  The contractions were getting so intense at that point that I really wanted to know how far I had dilated, if at all.  The pains were low and radiating around my lower back.  My friend Nina's husband, Oli, is an anesthesiologist at the Klinikum, and he was on-call that day and said he would take good care of me.  I hadn't decided yet if I wanted an epidural.  I had hopes of going the natural route, but I also kept my mind open because you can never predict how labor will progress or what type of pain you will feel.  I had decided if I was dilating well, I'd stick it out, but if not, I wasn't sure my body could handle hours and hours of this pain especially after having been through early labor for the better part of a week.

Child birth is such an interesting experience.  It truly is something you can never really prepare for because it rarely goes the way you expect it to.  I know with little r, his birth was vastly different than we had hoped, and with Baby C, I never anticipated that my body would be that exhausted by the time real labor had started.  You also think that you'll want your husband and your mom to rub your back, hold your hand, breath with you, or play calming music. Quite frankly, I didn't want anyone touching me or talking to me.  At one point my midwife came in and hooked me up to what I think was saline.  She spouted off a bunch of information for me in German.  Bless her heart, she talked painfully slow so I could understand.  When she left, my mom said, "I didn't understand a word of that," and Big R casually responded, "neither did I, so it's a good thing, she knows what the nurse said."  My flippant response was, "I have no f-ing idea what she said, I just kept nodding so she would shut up!"  Ah, labor is so much fun.

When the midwife finally checked my cervix, I had only dilated 2 cm. That's pretty much where I was when I checked into the hospital that morning.  Talk about feeling deflated. I don't think I made it through three more contractions before I asked my mom to ring the call button.  I was done with pain and wanted that epidural - period. It was after hours and they were in the middle of a c-section in the adjacent room, so it took over an hour for my friend to come to my rescue with the epidural.  By that point I was in excruciating pain.  How women make it through without any drugs is beyond me.  I felt weak and didn't care.  The contractions were INSANE! My oxygen levels were dropping, my legs were turning purple, and I was having a contraction every minute and a half, which made the pain appear constant.  Ugh. It sucked.

Finally - the epidural was in

Oli knew I could speak some German, so he wasn't talking to me in English.  I kept thinking that he was about to stick a huge needle in my spine, and maybe it would be good to make sure I knew exactly what he was saying, but I was too preoccupied with my contractions to find the words. So I did my best to understand him and prayed I didn't do anything stupid. I was so relieved when the epidural was in.  I think Big R was, too, because he finally came over to me and held my hand.  I was serious when I said I wouldn't let anyone touch me (and they made my mom and Big R leave the room while they inserted the epidural).  It was so comforting to have him by my side.

Unfortunately, the epidural only took on one side, so I felt every contraction on the left side of my body.  A quick adjustment of the needle and things got more balanced, but then I felt nothing from my hips down and felt everything in my uterus.  I knew this could happen, I just wasn't ready for it.  The pain was pretty severe again, so they doubled the dose hoping it would help reduce the intensity in my mid-section.  It worked! But it also made my legs go completely numb.  The lower half of my body was useless, and we got some pretty big laughs out of it when the midwife would try to move me for things or to help with the laboring process.

Oli told me that more often than not, an epidural will help the body relax enough to move labor along more quickly. He wasn't kidding.  By 10:30 p.m. I was 7 cm, and only an hour later, I was fully dilated at 10 cm.  We still needed to wait for Baby C to descend into position, but we had other concerns.  At that point, Baby C was getting extremely distressed.  Guess a week of labor was hard on him, too.  With every contraction, his heart rate dropped severely.  They needed to take blood from him to test his oxygen levels.  If they were low, I needed to prepare myself for an immediate c-section.  If he was ok, they would let things proceed as planned.

The bloods came back showing that Baby C was strong, and the next thing I knew I was pushing. My midwife told me that he had descended far enough that they could basically pull him out if they needed to, so a c-section would no longer be a necessity - I was going to have this baby without major surgery.  I think that's all the motivation I needed! Thirty minutes later and he was here!

He was perfect in every way. He opened his eyes and looked around quiet as can be.  He made a couple of little noises to let the midwife know he was ok, and they laid him on my chest.  Then they let Big R cut the umbilical cord. I couldn't believe he was finally here.  All day long it felt touch and go as to whether we'd need to do a c-section, so I was elated that everything went the way it did.  Even the head of OB was surprised when he saw me the next morning that the induction worked and everything went smoothly.  Someone was definitely looking out for us that night.

I can't stop looking at him - he's so precious

Early brotherly love

Beautiful view of the Bavarian countryside from my hospital room

Happy Mama

Even happier Grandma :) 

Dad's chest is SO snugly

little r brought Baby C a little bear to snuggle

Hey, do I know you?

awwwwww

Such a good sleeper - hope he keeps this up!

I love my boys...

We are so excited to have Baby C home. I can't wait to share more pictures of our sweet little boy. Thanks for all of your support and love throughout my pregnancy. We truly have the most amazing friends and family.

xoxoxo

Nearly there...

I'm officially 39 weeks today.  Only one week away from my official due date, and that week honestly feels like an eternity away.  Whether the pregnancy was good, bad, normal, complicated...doesn't seem to matter.  When you get to this late stage you feel like you've been pregnant forever.  So, I'm working on relaxing a bit, trying to control my incredible nesting urge to clean constantly, and focusing on spending as much time with little r as is humanly possible.

I didn't take many pictures of my pregnancy with little r.  Big R helped me record my bump progress every month or so, and I sent off emails to my friends and family that were far away.  Other than that though, we really didn't do any other types of photographs.  Knowing that we are mostly likely stopping at two children - or at least that's the plan - I really wanted to be better at recording more of this pregnancy.  Helps a bit that I'm not working more than full-time or commuting or on bed rest.  I suppose you could say I have had slightly more time this go around to focus on taking care of myself and my growing baby bump.

One of my good friends from Book Club is also a professional photographer (here is her website in case you are stationed in Germany and need a wonderful photographer), so awhile back I had asked her if she would do a maternity photo session with me.  I'm not sure I would have had professional photos taken otherwise, and I'm really glad that we took the opportunity to get some pictures of this important phase in our lives.  The original plan was to take candid shots outside, but the weather has been brutal this winter here in Germany, and not only was it freezing the day we planned the photo shoot, but there was little to no vegetation growing yet.  Quite simply, spring was no where near arriving, so the photo shoot was moved inside.  Candids are normally more my thing.  My inner model is nonexistent, so posing feels foreign to me.  But it was really fun, and Julie helped us all feel at ease.  Little r was especially adorable during the session, and she was able to catch some priceless moments.

I thought I'd share some of my favorite photos from that day. So here we are, big bottom, belly, and all...at 35 weeks!

Thank you, Julie, for capturing some beautiful moments with my family.  We will treasure them always.  Hopefully my next pregnancy blog post will be announcing the arrival of our little one.

until then...xoxoxoxo

Getting ready for baby

With just a couple weeks to go until the little one receives his official eviction notice, I am in that oh-so-fun part of pregnancy. Not being too sarcastically dramatic, there are some reasonably fun things about this part of pregnancy that I shouldn't push aside too quickly. I mean, when else can you feel like an alien is alive and moving around inside your tummy, or eat like a maniac (because face it, you are quite literally starving ALL THE TIME) with no looks of judgement, or receive never-ending assistance from people that genuinely want to take care of you because you are so very obviously pregnant?

caught a glimpse of my reflection

All that aside though, this part of pregnancy can be a little rough as well. It's not the most comfortable time, to put it mildly. Your inner organs are smooshed, you have to pee constantly, sleeping is almost comical, your energy level is nil, and forget trying to pick anything up unless you have at least 5 minutes to accomplish this task. These are the more obvious reasons that the ninth month of pregnancy is slightly unbearable. There are other things that make the later term of pregnancy a tad bit unnerving...

Probably the most difficult parts, for me anyways, is the not knowing. Being completely unaware of when the little one will come into the world is kind of a nightmare for a control freak. In that way it's somewhat liberating and good for me, but it's also a source of anxiety. And the anxiety comes not only from being unaware of the "date" the little one will arrive, it comes from not knowing how he will arrive. I mean, how am I going to be truly certain that it's "time"?

In the movies it can't be more clear, right? The woman wakes up with a shooting labor pain or her water breaks at 3 am, taps her husband on the shoulder, and the next scene is them grabbing bags and rushing out the door. Don't I wish it were this obvious. And maybe for some it truly is, and maybe it will be for me this time around. Guess only time will tell.

I wasn't even giving it a second thought until about a week ago, and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with anxiety about the whole thing. And it really is unreasonable to worry about such things. Being aware and ready is one thing, but letting yourself worry unnecessarily about something completely out of your control is a good way to make yourself crazy. Enter me and my silly self. Why in the world am I feeling such anxiety you ask? I've been wondering this myself, and I think it's a whole gambit of reasons, not the least bit of which is that I now have another little one to worry about. You never really hear people talk about this factor of labor when you have other kids at home, but it really is a HUGE deal. Making sure we have a plan in place for little r when I need to head to the hospital is paramount in my mind right now. Then there is Big R's crazy job that has him all over Bavaria and in court pretty constantly these days. The baby is coming no matter what, but it sure would be nice if we didn't have to worry about it.

And my mental concerns aside, there is the physical fun that tends to get my wheels turning. Just as was the case when I was pregnant with little r, I'm having constant fun with contractions this time around. It's not uncommon for pregnant women to have false labor weeks before the real deal, and I am clearly not an exception. The contractions are constant and sometimes a little too regular just to keep me guessing, but despite all that, my cervix is locked up like Fort Knox. ::sigh::

So, we are assuming and hoping the little man hangs tight and waits until his due date to arrive. But like all women at the end of their pregnancy, we are still waiting on pins and needles wondering when he will decide to make his debut... Until then, I will continue to laugh hysterically when my belly peeks out of even my largest maternity shirts, sigh when I have to get up from a dead sleep to pee for the fifth time, and grunt when my clumsy self drops something forcing me to bend over and pick it up.

Little r keeps telling me his baby brother is going to be here soon and that he is going to pop out of my belly button. Sometimes it feels like he might do just that! Either way, we are ready for you, little one. We can't wait to see your sweet little face and hold you in our arms.

I'll keep you all posted to let you know when he arrives. :)

xoxoxoxo

 

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Being showered with friendship

When the military moves you from one post or base to another every couple of years, or sometimes as often as every year, you find that you are often constantly in the mode of seeking friendships. It seems, the older you get, the more difficult this becomes. So, military spouses and kids tap into all the resources you can imagine to meet all the amazing people that are in the same situation you are. Even the shyest of personalities come out of their shells in search of supportive companions. What is amazing is that sometimes you can get exceptionally lucky, like I have, and end up at an assignment that surrounds you with incredible women and friends. What started out as a tiny duo of just Kimberly and me nearly two years ago when we first arrived in Germany has grown into a wonderful group of over a dozen women. The best part of our group is that although we have many common interests, we are vastly different in so many interesting ways. Do you know how incredible that is and how much that can enrich your life? I just adore it in so many ways.

So, this past weekend, my wonderful group of friends all came together to celebrate the soon-to-be newest member of our family with a beautiful baby shower. I never expected or anticipated a baby shower for my second, and I was so excited when Kimberly told me that she and Mary wanted to host one for me. Not only was it a great excuse to get all my friends together, but they are the most incredible hosts!

 

One of my gifts was this beautiful flower arrangement,
and all of the guests were able to take home a pot of herbs.

 

The theme of the baby shower was "Grow" because my family is growing. The colors were yellow and green so they had daffodils, tulips, and other spring flowers along with all different types of herbs decorating the table and the surroundings.

 

My beautiful host :)

 

We were also blessed with the most incredible weather. This part of Germany went through the longest and darkest winter, so the sunshine was a huge welcome for all of us. Kimberly set up a table on her porch, and we were able to sit outside for the entire baby shower. It was nothing short of fabulous!

 

Such a beautiful group of women :)

And the flowers and decorations were stunning!

 

Baby showers are often about the gifts, but for me, we really didn't need much this time around. My first baby shower for little r provided us with more things than we ever needed or could ask for, so we are in terrific shape for the new little one to arrive (especially since we are having another boy). That made the gifts for this shower even that much more fun because everyone got me things they knew I would need but would never ask for, or other things that were thoughtful and adorable. (I did create a small "wish list" on Amazon to give everyone an idea of the things I might like, as well.)

Here are a few photographic moments captured during the gift opening at the baby shower. One special gift was that my German friend, Nina, was able to be there (my friend, Anette, sadly couldn't make it). Baby showers are an American tradition that they don't do here in Germany, and it was interesting to watch her take it all in.

 

The cards were all special - I hope to keep them for a long time

I had huge bags of gifts full of diapers - both cloth and otherwise...

of books...

and other incredibly thoughtful things for me and the baby and for little r!!!

And you can never have enough laughter with this group!

Nina got me a German memory box
and she also made those gorgeous paintings I hung in the baby room.

We skipped all of the corny games, and instead spent the afternoon enjoying each others company, great food, and much-welcomed sunshine. I couldn't get enough of it. I think many of us were there for close to five hours and it felt like only two. One really thoughtful idea Kimberly and Mary did for me was create my thank you cards and had everyone address theirs, so that all I had to do was write a note inside each one and drop it in the mail. Isn't that the sweetest idea? I'll definitely remember that for the next baby shower I am lucky enough to host for a friend.

"Thank you" cards creating for me by my hosts

Yes, it was absolutely the most wonderful afternoon. I didn't want it to end, and I smile every time I think about it. I am so thankful for the friends that I have here. I love that we are all so different and bring such amazing and interesting stories to our group giving us things to talk about for hours. If this is what being in the military as a spouse is all about, then I'm really looking forward to this life we have ahead of us. Right now I feel like an exceptionally lucky person to have these women in my life.

Mary and Kimberly, my beautiful hosts!

Leah, Liz, Bana and Anna-Lissa

Nina, Me, Meg, and Jessie

The best part was, while us ladies were enjoying our afternoon making memories, Big R took the little man to the Volksfest in Nuremburg for their own adventure with other friends of ours. It became a pretty incredible bonding experience for both of them.

PROST!

Thank you to my amazing hosts, Kimberly and Mary, and to all of my wonderful friends for such a memorable afternoon. I hope we are able to stay in each others lives in one way or another throughout our husband's military careers and beyond. I love you all!

xoxoxoxo

 

 

 

 

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Cozy room for the baby boy

My growing belly has been a constant reminder that we have a little guy joining us very soon. This year has been rather distracting emotionally and otherwise, but we could wait no longer. It was time to put a cozy room together for the newest member of our family. Knowing that we had an impending move in our not-too-distant future, we were trying to figure out how far we should take things with decorating the baby room.

Up until now, that spare bedroom has been used for everything from storing our bikes to holding all our random junk to being a designated "cat room" for the little box. It was quite literally a mess. The walls were painted white and they were in terrible shape. It was making me sad that our new little baby boy was going to sleep and snuggle in this filthy space. It definitely needed a huge makeover.

When little r got his new bed last fall, we had moved all of the baby furniture into the room and we reorganized by finding new homes for other pieces of furniture. But it sat that way for months. I had a vision of a cozy room with warm walls and neutrally calm decor. Big R jumped on board pretty quickly with my vision and we found ourselves at the OBI (hardware store) buying paint. We figured, it needed to be painted white anyway, so we might as well put the effort into a color we truly wanted.

Let me preface this by saying that we are absolutely miserable at the whole painting thing. It clearly takes rocket science or an insane amount of paint here in Germany to make the walls look nice. These plaster walls and the different paint types than we are used to creates a disaster for our impatient personalities. We somehow salvaged the creative painting style on the walls, and we are just hoping visitors don't look too closely - haha.

Painting in progress - this doesn't do justice to how terrible it actually looked!

We also decided we needed to buy a little more furniture for the little boy. I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear that after some extensive internet searching and visiting several different stores, we ended up at Ikea. Haha. I'm not sure what we would do without that store. At this point I'm convinced that nearly our entire house is decorated with furniture and other items with Swedish decor (we also have an incredible collection of allen wrenches). We had a few options and ideas, and decided it was worth the drive to the Ikea in Regensburg because they seemed to have more of the items we wanted in stock. The Ikea trip was a success! We found exactly what we were looking for. It was also the first time we were able to leave little r in the supervised child play area because he is finally potty trained (only to be called on the loud speaker an hour later because he decided potty training was for the birds and my life would be far more interesting if I were to experience cleaning poop from underwear in an Ikea bathroom - ah, I love my life). As soon as we got home, little r helped his Daddy put the baby's furniture together.

I heart watching my boys work together

The room was painted, the new dresser was put together, and all the furniture had found its place in the baby's room. Only one thing missing - a chair for mommy. For some reason the German's do not typically put chairs, rockers, gliders, or anything along these lines in the baby room. I was talking to some of my other German girlfriends about this and none of them understood why this was. Let's just say, finding a comfortable sitting place for a nursery and snuggling the little one is hard to come by here. So, we instead just purchased a cheap glider from the large PX. I'm actually pretty surprised by how comfortable the glider is, especially since I'm not generally a huge fan. And it randomly matches everything pretty darn well. How do you like them apples?!

I got all of little r's old baby clothes out of storage and organized everything by size. Got things tucked away into drawers and smiled at how tiny the clothes were. I was surprised that I recognized and remembered every last piece of clothing from when little r was a baby. Wow, where did time go? I can't believe that little baby is now a boy. Amazing...

Decorating also included hanging some pictures on the walls. My friend, Nina, made some beautifully sweet artwork for me to give the baby room a personal touch. She knew I was sad that moving this summer meant I might not get to put much of a room together for the baby. It was probably one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received. The challenge was doing a proper hanging of these four pieces of artwork so they would look nice. Wow, and we thought painting was the biggest obstacle! I am seriously not cut out for this whole interior design deal. We ended up using a string, ruler, and level method. It took forever and the process was intensely frustrating. I'm still not convinced the pictures are properly straight or hung in a good place on the wall, but somehow I doubt the baby will mind much.

This was Big R's idea, and it was a brilliant one

...although, I'm not convinced these pictures are all that straight!

Everything is neatly in its place, the pictures are hung on the walls, the clothes are tucked neatly away, and the room is feeling cozy as ever. Here are some pictures of the baby room. What do you think?

I love how warm the color on the walls feels

And here are a few pictures of the room lit up at night - cozy, cozy :)

We love this blue dresser from Ikea - fits perfectly!

These toys have already seen so much love - donated from both me and little r

The soft light will hopefully be a comforting touch for a sleepy baby

Nina's pictures give the room a special touch - we love them

A cozy spot for snuggling :)

Now we are just waiting for your arrival, sweet boy. We still have about a month before you are supposed to be here, but I know it'll go by fast. We love you so much, and we can't wait to hold you, and kiss you, and love you to pieces.

xoxoxoxo

 

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