Baby, it's cold outside...

This was the third day in a row of waking up to negative temperatures. I had forgotten how cold that can feel. We stayed inside most of the weekend because little r is fighting a cold and frankly, it's not terribly pleasant to feel your limbs go numb.

This morning we had to face the cold to bring little r to kindergarten. I had convinced him most days last week to do the trek from his stroller. This was a huge relief to me because my arms were getting tired from carrying him most of the way, and it was much easier to keep him warm under blankets.

This morning little r decided he was walking and nothing was going to change his mind. Regardless of how much i bundled him up, the little guy didn't last long before he was freezing.

As much as he seems to enjoy school, he is not a fan of me leaving. I guess you could say he's reached that clingy phase, and it's only been made worse by Big R being gone for awhile. Good to know he hasn't grown too sick of me and does still love me, but that'll break your heart... Just hoping he gets over this soon.

The walk home was brutal. I couldn't get little r's cries out of my head and the cold was biting right through me. Despite having two layers of pants on, my thighs went numb from the cold. Droplets of moisture stand no chance in these temperatures, so the puppy's whiskers were frozen from her breath and my gloves were iced over from little r's tears.

The sun is shining, and even though it's cold, it is unbelievably beautiful today. I'm going to let the rays of sunshine lift my spirits as I get myself to the gym. I hope you all have a beautiful day as well and stay warm wherever you are...

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Cuteness factor...

Kids are cute, just one of those things that keeps you lovin' them after they keep you up all night or wake you up for the day before dawn or make shopping a nightmare. But sometimes your kid tips the cuteness scale. Little r did that repeatedly this week.

Like when he said, "River's hot" on the way to school one very cold morning and I realized he was referring to the "steam" coming from his mouth. Or how he keeps running around the house saying "River's cute" with a huge smile on his face. Or when he is finally aware of the icky phlem In his throat from his cold and when he coughs he says, "ewww, gross! River cough!"

But this morning he topped it all and melted my heart. When Big R has to be away from home we always tell him "Daddy has to work." when he thinks about Big R he'll randomly tell me that "Daddy work!" This week he told me a number of times that he wanted to give Daddy a hug. This morning when he said, "Daddy work," I said, "yeah, Daddy is still at work. Do you miss him? Mommy really misses him." and he replied, "I do, too..."




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Organizational crazies

With this 12-week challenge that I started a couple weeks ago, I've been doing my best to make healthier choices, eat better, and not settle for easy processed food.  This has translated into a lot of cooking, salad making, and vegetable cutting, to name a few.  My kitchen has been the most well-used place in our home.  Unfortunately, the kitchen is easily one of the smallest, save for maybe the bathroom, and all this cooking and vegetable cutting is making me pull my  hair out because I have no where to "work" in my kitchen.  I've had smaller kitchens in my past, so I can't complain too much.  That said, it dawned on me earlier this week that I could create so much more room for myself in my little kitchen if I just got things better organized.

One of the coolest rooms in our house is our pantry.  Why is this cool, you ask?  To put it simply, I've never really had one, and it's rockin' awesome to have a place to store food other than in the cabinets that surround your dishes.  I've tried to keep things in somewhat of an organized fashion.  We had a mild attempt at buying some things at Ikea back a few months ago, but it needed more...

I made a list, took measurements, and put together a plan on how I wanted to organize things.  We'd already started the Ikea massacre, so I decided to use Ikea as my source for all things "organizational."  If it isn't obvious yet, this girl loves a good organizational project :)

Here is what my pantry looked like before I started:

Such a mess!  And here is my little kitchen with all its lack of counter space.  What made things more fun is that the way we had things set up, it seemed to invite all of that junk you have in your hands when you walk in the door and have no where else to put it right to my counters.  You all know exactly what I'm talking about, right?  Translation:  little counter space just turned into no counter space.

This project was really motivating me, so much so in fact that I took little r to Ikea after he woke from his nap and tackled the adult playground all on my own.  It was exhausting and I had several moments of digging deep for my inner patience, of which I own NONE, and we somehow ended up back in the car with a trunk full of new organizing goodies for Mommy.

And here I am happy to reveal the fruits of my labor.  You are all rolling your eyes, I'm sure because this could not be anywhere near exciting to anyone but me (and maybe Big R...maybe...).

Here is my beautiful new and very organized pantry:

The cat is included in the picture for posterity's sake.

These pictures hardly do it justice, which is unfortunate.  Have you ever tried to take a picture of a pantry?  Not easy. I need Big R's talent, but he's still back in the States learning how to be a good lawyer for the Army.  You'll just have to believe me on this one.  The room feels ridiculously clean and everything has a place.  It's awesome.

And my new and improved kitchen...

Look at those counters!  I actually HAVE counters now.  It's too cool. When I made dinner tonight, I had to pinch myself.  Yes, I am really that strange.  I even put up a small make-shift table behind the door for those pesky things that have a way of finding themselves to my counter space.  

So, I can now check this project off of my list.  I put several other things aside to get this taken care of.  A girl has priorities, you know.  The things I share with you people, you must really think my marbles are loose.  Let's just say that a happy cook makes good eats :)  So, when are you coming over for dinner???

This mutt so totally owns me...

Rani and I have been together for quite awhile now.  We just crossed over the thirteenth year of our bond, to be exact.  To say we've been through a lot together is probably a mild understatement.  This puppy is my rock, my therapy, and my loyal companion.  Rani had flown on four flights before she was a year old.  Before she turned two, she had already lived in five different homes.  We went from a house with a huge backyard, to living in a series of apartments.  Needless to say, our walks became regular and necessary...for both of us. She trained for three marathons with me, hiked to the top of Mt. Mansfield, went swimming in the ocean both the Pacific AND the Atlantic, took a trip on a train and went hiking through the Cinque Terre, and soon she will join us for an adventure in the Austrian Alps - the kid has got some serious mojo.

All of this reflection is showing me how incredibly unstable my life has been.  One constant in my life has been her, and I know we have many adventures left to explore together.  Rani has clearly missed the memo that she's thirteen. Old age has hardly slowed her down, but it is making her just a tad bit senile.  I hate to accept her age because to me she will always be here.  Don't worry, she's not sick or dying or anything horrible like that.  Instead she has become nothing shy of a monster. Hahaha. Ok, now I'm clearly exaggerating, but she really is losing her mind.  I'm convinced that she has decided she is in the last of her years so she's tired of listening to what people want her to do and she's ready to just be free.

In the last couple of months my well-behaved and sweet little mutt has gone crazy.  She begs like I starve her (and believe me, I feed her like a queen), and growls at me throughout the day when she thinks I need to be giving her more attention.  It works, I will surely admit that!  She poops whenever and wherever she darn well pleases, including in her sleep (ok, she can't help that one).  If we don't properly secure the trash, or close doors, she tears into them like she's having a party.  Now that is one thing I would love to be a fly on the wall to watch, can you imagine what that must look like?  Pure craziness...

We are relatively certain she can no longer hear well, and I think she believes that means we can't hear OR see her either.  Walking her on a leash is a challenge and letting her off-leash these days is a ticket for disaster.  We have a very busy street that runs before our house, and I always thought she would at least be shy of the cars.  Never before have I had to worry that she would be dumb enough to run out in front of a car because she was terrified of them.  She would force me to walk on sidewalks to get us out of the middle of the street.  Not anymore.  The other day little r and I took her on her favorite walk where we let her romp in a large open field where she can let loose.  Rani decided she wasn't in the mood and little r was just taking a  little too long for her taste.  So, she bolted. Ran straight for home.  She had done this before to a certain degree, but she would usually wait.  It became a game. She refused to get within 50 feet of me.  Lovely.  I just kept bracing myself for something horrible to happen, and then, it almost did... An elderly woman was walking down the sidewalk and Rani couldn't contain herself, she had to say, "hello," to this lady.  When the woman was clearly disinterested in humoring her, she decided to cross the street and go home.  A BMW came screeching to a halt!  Instead of cowering and running up to our apartment, she just stood there and looked at the driver.  Seriously, just stood there. It was almost as if she was waiting for the guy to get out of the car and greet her.  Totally bizarre.  The driver had to GO AROUND her. No, I am not kidding.

At this point I am running, toddler in hand, as fast as I can through the snow.  It was not a pretty picture.  I was doing all I could to not cry.  I kept saying to myself, "I can't believe she's doing this. You stupid dog, you are going to get yourself hurt."  It's at moments like these that you realize you are in the company of a toddler.  Little r started repeating me. In fact, he still, now almost two weeks later, will say, "Rani hurt car." The decision has been made; Rani has lost her off-leash privileges, at least for now.  

It might be true that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you should be able to gently remind them that they know how to behave.  At least, one can only hope. So that is what I'm going to do.  I'm hoping that she is also craving a little structure in her life.  Little r and I aren't the only ones in this house that could use a little regularity.  It's funny, but I'm already seeing a vast improvement in her mood in just the past few days of taking little r to and from kindergarten at a set time each day.

Regardless, the mutt still manages to win my heart.  She gets a full snugglefest every night and we have even started playing with her toys again.  I'm a sucker and she knows how to aim right for my heart.  I love you, Rani-dog, even if you are a crazy little mutt.

Searching for some identity

Now that little r has started kindergarten (this idea is so fabulous I can't stop smiling every time I think about it), in theory, I should now have my mornings to myself.  Being a stay-at-home-mom generally means you've either learned to do most things with a child in tow or you've learned how to do without. That said, there are certain things I would much prefer doing on my own, and there are several things I no longer WANT to do without.

Little r is in school from about 8:30 a.m. until around noon. It's not a large amount of time, but it is enough to get my life back on track and start some routines.  Also, not working has hit me hard.  Many of us dream of the day when we are not required to work, and yet here I am dreaming about the day I go back.  This has less to do with wanting a daily "job" and more to do with the fact that I really miss practicing law.

I'm not sure exactly how this will all work out, but I decided to set some goals for myself so that I can find a new identity and enrich my life (to use the wise words of a good friend).  I have a life that many would dream about, so it's time to recognize this and make the most of it.  So here are a list of a few of my new goals:

1. Take better care of myself.  I have been working full time since I graduated from high school.  At different points in my life I have had more time to dedicate to going to the gym, running, and eating well. Not only had I run completely out of time, but then I had little r and all of my free time was absorbed into loving him to the core.  It's hard to argue with that :)  All that aside, the next couple of years could very well be the last time, in a very long time, that I will be able to dedicate myself to building a healthier body.  Enter Jamie Eason's 12-week live fit program. I've been calling it a "12-week plan", but I've decided to start calling it my "12-week challenge."  Spending upwards of five to six days a week at the gym is pretty time intensive and I'm a little worried that it might be overzealous for me to do.  It is ONLY 12-weeks though. 12 measly weeks. I know I can do it, but I think it's more appropriate for me to admit to myself that it is going to be a challenge. Like training for a marathon, this is going to take some serious motivation AND dedication.  Big R encouraged me to do it.  He said that I need to do something for myself.  So, here I am.  I am in the middle of the second week. I'll let you know how it's going.  Here is a link to the program: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-easons-livefit-introduction.html

2.  Author a Legal Blog.  The harsh reality that legal work is not going to be available here for me is finally sinking in, and it's sinking in hard.  I refuse to accept that I need to pull away from the things that I'm passionate about.  Big R and I decided when we made this move with the Army that we would be ok financially.  For the first time in my adult life, it's completely unnecessary for me to work.  But as I said earlier, I miss the law. I miss writing and research and thinking like a lawyer.  After some deep inner reflections I came up with the idea to start an environmental law blog. Nothing too fancy, but a good way for me to keep writing and to stay connected to that part of the legal world that I'm most passionate about.  I hope to launch my blog in the next few weeks, so stay tuned...

3.  Learn German.  We have now been in Germany for nearly six months. I WANT TO KNOW MORE GERMAN!   I've purchased the study materials, so I just need to dedicate myself to working on it several hours a week.  When we first moved here and the weather was fantastic and I would take little r and the puppy for a walk through town every day. I would walk by these two houses on our street where other very cool looking and hip German mothers were sitting in their driveways while their children played all around them chatting it up with a glass of wine or tea or whatever was in their mood that day.  I found myself longing to be able to join them, but even if I could channel my inner bravery, I couldn't muster enough German together to even begin a conversation.  One of these mothers has her son in little r's kindergarten.  We ran into each other yesterday and she recognized me and immediately started talking.  This was WAY cool.  I fumbled my way through some pitiful excuse for small talk, and right then and there I decided that I've wasted enough time.  The time is NOW.

4. Daily Yoga Practice.  While I was losing my mind preparing for our move to Germany, I turned to yoga to find some peace.  It really helped, so I've kept it up.  I'd like to promise myself to do a little yoga every day, even if it is only 20 minutes.  I want to become stronger internally, and more flexible.  I actually did a headstand today. A HEADSTAND!!!  A good friend showed me and walked me through it at the gym this morning.  Before I knew it I was in the middle of the gym floor standing on my head.  It was exhilarating!  Never did I think I could get strong enough or brave enough to do one.  And yet, I did it proving to myself that these goals are not impossible.

So, there you have it.  These are my goals.  I'm not sure how quickly they will come together, but I'm happy to know that with little r in Kindergarten, I will have some extra time to conquer these challenges.  I have a few other projects on my plate as well, but I'm keeping those to myself. We'll start with baby steps :)