Monday, August 5, 2013

Happy Birthday, Dad - I miss you so very much

Today is your day, Daddio, which also makes this day especially difficult for me and others that love you. It has been five months since we had to say good-bye, and my mind still refuses to accept that you are gone.

You were such an amazing father. There are few people in my life that could get to me the way that you could. No one could make me feel more loved, and honestly, no one could make me more angry. I think since the day I was born, you knew we would be alike.  You pushed me hard to be the best that I could be, taught me that life could be incredibly unfair sometimes, and made sure I found the good in everything.  But more importantly, you taught me to love life. You were so full of life. You could undeniably lighten a room just by walking through the door.

So much of who I am and what I strive to be is because of you. I was constantly trying to make you proud.  Our relationship went through so many cycles throughout my lifetime. You made me the independent and strong-willed woman that I became, and always made me want to strive to be better. I loved you when you played devil's advocate, doubted every boyfriend, and made me work hard for your attention.  I loved you for these things even if at the time I wanted to pull my hair out or argue with you until I was blue.

But what I love more is how close we had become. You were my person in so many ways.  The void that is left now that you are gone reminds me every day how important you were to me. No one can erase my self doubt the way you could.  You also had this way of making me realize how ridiculous my worries might be or recognize how badly I was overreacting to something so unimportant.  Your outlook on life and people taught me to always view situations from every perspective. I watched you grow and change and become this incredible person, which might seem like something you would say to me, but instead it showed me that we never stop growing and becoming who we are.  I was so proud of you, Dad.  You were such an incredible man that touched so many lives.

I miss our emails and your Daddy musings. I miss the way you loved little r. I miss you, even the stubborn parts, so very much.  Today is your day, and it will always be your day.

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you.

1 comment:

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