Wednesday, September 10, 2014

When the bug strikes

Bugs can be such pests, especially when you have a little boy with an irrational fear of them. (Oh wow, I just realized I called him a little boy - yikes, where has the time gone?!) I say it's irrational because he has never had a bug hurt or threaten him in his short little life, but you'd think he'd experienced pure torture from these creepy crawly things. I'm convinced if he were actually to come across a tarantula or something truly terrifying, he might just faint!

This irrational fear has been dominating our lives lately. Bugs are quite literally everywhere, so the terror is constantly surrounding him. In the shower, the bathroom, at night in bed... This all coming from a child that not two months ago was wearing a snake around his neck.

So, today when I picked him up from school, I got descriptive details about the "spider" bites that he has on his legs. Where these supposed bites came from is still a mystery, but little r is completely convinced that the bumps on his legs are from a spider nibbling on him. Before heading home, I made a stop at a local vegetable stand. One of our favorite things about Clarksville is that it's like a "big" small town in a way, and we live in a pretty rural part of town near open farm fields. That translates into lots of great produce and local meats, and we are trying to take full advantage of this awesome convenience. But I digress...

Ok, so we stop by the veggie stand that is more like a small outdoor market. It's run by this darling older couple. The old man is my pal. We shoot the breeze about all things important, especially the weather. Little r opted to stay in the car, so he and baby c hung back while I stepped out real quick to pick up some veggies. A couple bucks later, and a bag full of beautiful veggies in hand, and we were set to head home. Or so I thought...

Little r started panicking. He had to pee. Crap. He is only 4, so what's the harm in going roadside, right? But wait! There's a port-o-potty, and I knew it would be clean because these older folks looked like the tidy type. I grabbed baby c, helped little r put his socks and shoes back on (I'm always perplexed why kids take their shoes off in the car), and we pile out of the car to run to the port-o-potty. (Did I mention it was pajama day at school?)

Holy cow, this was easily the cleanest port-o-potty I have ever seen. Seriously. I greatly underestimated these folks - their cleanliness was outstanding! But, remember the bugs? Yes, the bugs. Hard to have an outdoor bathroom without a few bugs. People, these bugs were like ant-size, maybe flea, but definitely miniscule. To little r, this was freaking scary crap! After some encouragement, he finally closes the door and screams, "ok, mommy, I'm peeing now!" Fantastic, little man, do your business. Then all hell breaks loose. He starts freaking out and screaming from the top of his lungs. The door flies open, and he yells, "mommy, look!" He has a hold of his boy parts and he's literally peeing all over the seat, the side of the wall, and all over the floor. I'm sure you remember me saying this port-o-potty was spotless?! This goes down in history as the first, and hopefully only, time I will ever feel the need to "clean" the inside of a port-o-potty (with a toddler in my arms).  Luckily I had something in the car to clean our hands with.  The older woman walked by giggling saying that it sounded like a big mess was happening in there.  Guaranteed my face turned red, and I can honestly say it has been awhile since that has happened. Good grief!

If you are wondering what happened, that makes two of us. He looked down while he was peeing and saw what he claims was a spider bite and he decided the appropriate response was to lose his mind. Seems rational, right? I would absolutely do the same thing in that situation. I also had to hear him explain to me on the entire ride home how it was definitely a spider bite because it looked like the bump on his leg. Ok, little r, I believe you, but tell me again why this warranted you screaming and losing control of your private spray?!

Little r, never a dull moment, sweetheart.  You certainly keep my life full of constant adventure and endless entertainment. I love you, you crazy little man.

Proof the kid isn't what we would call a "scardy-cat"!

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